How to Parent an Anxious Teen: Advice From a Teen Therapist
For parents, the moment-to-moment challenges that anxiety presents to their teens' daily functioning can be tough. Parents often find that, despite understanding why their teen struggles with anxiety, they don’t have the tools to support their teen. Teen counseling in Salt Lake City, UT can be a valuable resource for learning strategies to support your teen and guide them through these stressful moments. Here are ways you can start right away:
Mindset: Understanding Teen Anxiety
It won’t be like this forever! Teens are going through short-term life experiences and developmental stages that make them more vulnerable to experiencing anxiety in the short term.
It can be easy to get worried that this moment of anxiety will impact your child for the rest of their lives, which in turn will create anxiety in you and in your interactions with them. You could spiral further into believing that anxiety is a character flaw, and they are being difficult or lazy, having an attitude, or trying to make things worse for you.
Instead, do all you can to frame this as an opportunity for you to learn with your teen what they need to meet the challenges of their day. Even one semester of poor grades will not derail a whole life. If you have to focus on well-being instead of learning, it will be worth the investment. You are seeking solutions, understanding that will benefit them. You are partnering with them and building a relationship of understanding that will benefit them for the rest of their lives.
Staying Calm When Your Teen is Anxious
If your teen is stressed out, do whatever you can to stay calm in the moment. A teen's anxiety can look like yelling, collapsing in bed, or avoiding work by playing a video game or watching TV. Remember your Mindset…This is a moment in time that won’t last forever. Walk through what will happen if they don’t go to school that day, or if they get a low grade. It's common to panic in the face of a short-term response, like avoiding school, but most of these worries result in very low consequences. Use that knowledge to breathe and follow the next steps.
Note: Does your family have a culture of high expectations for school success?
Your teen's anxiety may be directly related to their perception that the only way to success is getting straight A’s and getting to an Ivy League school. You may have a hard time being okay with your teen choosing rest over more homework or forgetting less than a B on an assignment. If this is your reality, then it will take time to convince your teen that they have value and can be successful even without straight A’s or entrance to a prestigious college.
Building Understanding and Curiosity
Find a time that you can be with your teen and just hang out with them without jumping to problem-solving. Some of the best times to chill with your teen are watching a show, driving in the car, and right before bed.
If they seem open, ask them in a supportive way what they are stressed about. This will likely not occur at the moment of the actual stress. The top areas that create stress for teens are friendships and social dynamics, and school performance. The most common way anxiety is generated is by negative thoughts about being judged or not being good enough. It can take a few tries to figure out what the stressor is and what triggers the anxiety. This requires curiosity without judgment and without talking them out of their fears.
As you learn more about their experiences, do not step into planning mode until you understand what they are experiencing. Understanding their experience will need to be done over and over, because it's hard for your teen to really know what is happening until they start focusing on understanding too.
Supporting a Healthy Lifestyle
Review your teen's basic self-care routine. Are they getting enough sleep? Do they have some way to move their body each day? Are they hanging out with friends? Are they eating throughout the day? Are they limiting their social media diet? Is their school's case load manageable?
This may sound like a lot and way too basic. But exercise alone has been shown to provide the most improvement in anxiety, above medication and counseling.
Suppose there are areas that could be improved to help your teen pick one. Then tell them that you will be available to support them in making the habit change.
Planning and Seeking Support
Once you know what is causing your teen's anxiety. Ask them if they want to get better and if they would like your help in finding ways to manage their anxiety. Your teen must want your help. If they are not interested in getting your help, you must back away. But…you can tell them that you support them in finding their own way…and if they continue to struggle, would they be willing to accept your help?
Many plans will need to be adjusted once you try them out, but just trying something is a step in the right direction. You can adjust as you need. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
Considering Teen Counseling
You can ask your teen if they would like to work with a counselor to identify new ways to manage their anxiety. Teens often respond positively to a neutral person, like a teen therapist, in their lives that they know they can speak to without fear of offending a person they love.
Some forms of anxiety will require that your teen work with a mental health provider right away. Anxiety results in daily living rituals that are rigid. Anxiety from a trauma, anxiety that creates panic attacks on a regular basis. Anxiety that interrupts their basic daily living task for 2 weeks or more. Anxiety that escalates to self-harm or suicidal ideation. If one of these issues is the case for your teen, then I recommend seeking out a teen therapist at Shade Tree Family Counseling who can help you form a plan that is more in-depth to support your family.
Support Your Teen Through Stress and Growth with Teen Counseling in Salt Lake City, UT
If your teen is struggling with daily stress, social pressure, or school-related anxiety, teen counseling in Salt Lake City, UT can help them find coping strategies and relief. Our compassionate team at Shade Tree Family Counseling works with teens to build confidence, resilience, and healthy routines. Reach out today to start supporting your teen in managing anxiety and thriving in their daily life. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation to explore whether teen counseling is the right fit for your family.
Start working with a supportive teen therapist who understands anxiety in teens.
Watch your teen cope with their anxiety and find relief!
Additional Services Offered at Shade Tree Family Counseling
At Shade Tree Family Counseling, our mission is to walk alongside families as they navigate challenges and strengthen connections. Through teen counseling, we help adolescents manage anxiety, cope with school-related stress, and build healthy routines, while also offering additional support services. These include EMDR Trauma Therapy for those working through difficult past experiences, Family Counseling to improve communication and relationships at home, and Teen Group Therapy for adolescents who thrive when connecting with peers facing similar challenges. To explore more about how teen counseling can help your family, visit our blog for practical tips and valuable resources.